Coaching Isn't Just Asking Questions (Forbes)
Published November, 2018
Dr. Carylynn Kemp Larson challenges a common misconception about coaching—that it is primarily about asking powerful questions—and expands the definition to include a broader set of communication skills. She explains that effective coaching is a balance between asking insightful questions and sharing observations in a way that encourages reflection, awareness, and independent thinking.
Drawing on established coaching competencies, she highlights that leaders must go beyond questioning to include active listening, direct communication, and the ability to create clarity and accountability. A key focus of the article is how leaders can share observations—such as feedback, insights, and perspectives—in an open-ended, non-directive way that invites dialogue rather than shuts it down.
Dr. Larson outlines practical techniques for doing this effectively, including offering observations as optional perspectives, distinguishing between facts and interpretations, and providing context when sharing sensitive feedback. Ultimately, she emphasizes that coaching is a dynamic exchange of ideas, where the thoughtful combination of questions and observations enables deeper insight, stronger engagement, and more meaningful development.
Key Takeaways
Coaching is more than asking questions.
Effective coaching combines thoughtful questions with meaningful observations.A narrow view of coaching limits effectiveness.
Leaders who rely only on questions miss opportunities to deepen insight and clarity.Observations are a powerful coaching tool.
Sharing perspectives, feedback, and insights can expand thinking when done thoughtfully.How you share matters as much as what you share.
Open-ended, non-directive communication invites reflection rather than resistance.Offer observations, don’t impose them.
Framing insights as optional perspectives encourages ownership and engagement.Distinguishing fact from interpretation builds trust.
Clarifying what is objective versus subjective creates space for dialogue and multiple viewpoints.Context helps difficult feedback land effectively.
Explaining intent can make challenging conversations more constructive and supportive.Great coaching is a dynamic exchange.
The interplay between questions and observations drives deeper insight, learning, and growth.
Authored by Carylynn Kemp Larson, a psychologist turned speaker and leadership coach who creates space for leaders, teams, and organizations to thrive.